Why don't I rehearse it once a year

如浮雲陪伴天馬



Someone Big was born,
but if I could choose my day to die, it should be at Christmas.

My Funeral Rehearsal

I want to float in the sky, like a falling leaf, like a crushed moth, I want to float in the sky

I want to be your messiah, like a spoiled child, like a taboild gossip, I want to be your messiah

A throwaway dress and fake smiles, make your empty mind paralyzed

Your seeming friends, your cheap pride, you're just tired of telling lies

Nothing so ironic, you make me feel so

This is your fantasy you've believed in

我聽見未來叫我 聽真心的迴音

聽見了嗎　你在想著誰吧

It's a mystery that we are all still holding on

in return for

幾度懷疑自己是否詞窮至此，還是其實我是啞的，讓這裡剩下一首又一首。 算了。

送給某人，可能錯過了一場可能會很好的表演。

:-/ :-( ;-(

With my dead beat sky

The first star that I saw last night

was a headlight of a man-made sky

but man-made never made our dreams collide, collide

either wake up or not

A thousand dreams of effigies...

Lover's Spit.

It would have lost its point,

not when I discovered that the belief was not true,

but when it ceased to be true.

why don't i admit it

我是一個相當主流的學生，總會以為自己走進了不對的學系。在這最後一年，卻在依舊的狀況下終感到安然自在，多少有幸身邊多了同伴，照顧我這個處處缺陷的人，更重要的是，大概自己發現心態與從前迴異不同了。

有兩堂課，有兩段說話，或許再普通不過，但就在這此時與此刻，都有心/無心插柳地令我想更多。一個他說，人會在他既有與所堅持的原則下做他所堅信的事。另一個他說，我們所懷疑的事情，而得到令自己信服的答案，不盡真實，令你信服的原因，也就只是該故事動聽罷了。或許這陣子在太多原則失落與原則氾濫之間掙扎太多，同時又擁抱不到任何動聽的東西。我不偉大，我不刺激，只知沒剩下多少時間，就算沒有再準確的目標，自己也要尋回且活在自己的原則底線以下，創出至少令自己愉快的故事。

記下不想有天會遺忘的兩則小事，我太簡單，有些感覺，有些事情，寄望不會自我或被揮霍。

張素貞，你要有信心，你要加油呀。

with the same beginning

the one before death.

the one after death.

之話

與快滿六歲的男孩一起說說笑笑寫寫已成為我每個星期三次的樂事。望著他就想笑，他會比你更真誠地向你四目相投而笑；他望向窗外，會告訴你他喜歡鳥兒，更想與你飛到對面的樹上跟你聊天，在這世上，無任何東西能比這讓你更感到舒坦、信心與力量。

我每問，「你知道這是什麼意思嗎？」「之話……」是你解釋事物的啟首語。當你不懂的時候，又會說：「我唔識喎，之話咩野呀？」很多時候，我並不想解釋太多，我總是覺得，我不是教你更多，而是一個教你更少的人。我又總是不願糾正你，你寫字寫得太大了，你寫字過界了，這些又有什麼值得責怪的呢。

我真想讓他明白，人生有時真的不怎樣美好，但這個世界原來仍然很美，你會明白嗎？我想太多了吧？只是我真的這樣認為，只要看清這一點，你就能好好的過。沒有什麼超能力，卻一直以來毋須再多分析，心境越是純粹、不攙雜，周遭的物件都能與你相語，雖然它們或許告訴你不願意接受與知道的事實，但這大概也就是真實了，所以啊，世界並不需要太多的之話架。

你洋名是Adrian，我一直覺得這個名字很動聽，涵義是傍海而居的人，願你心境能一生如是。你吃葷菜，更深信我與你的相遇是緣分。

每次下課，你一定會望向我，笑著大聲說「FINISH！」對啊，不想FINISH就不FINISH，要FINISH的時候也要這樣。:)

Becoming who you think you are

In order to do your part

In the multi-dimensional scheme

You'll know what I mean

七夕

農曆七月初七

原來香港也曾有歌曲關於七夕，我想，林夕將七夕寫得如此平白想必別有用意，現實嘛。即使寫得不怎樣詩意、不怎樣美麗、不怎樣艱澀、又或者連一個字也打不成，也可以，也會感動的吧。

難道愛　未滿資　其實幸福非天賜
誰在意　逆聖旨　為何定要到七夕
方可見一次　難道中國傳奇是
情要變慘事　憑遺憾出詩意
不想上京師　然後親口跟你講
又過了一年　期望未必一致
如面試　換襯衣　然而真不好意思
事隔已多年　連容貌都不似
鄧麗欣-《七夕》

yo la tengo !

i wish my tears could be thousands of pearls

then i would be rich. ... ...

Things get blurred with a close-up.

I can always find a right song at the right time.

Staring at paper faces, Expressions like empty pages, Day after day, Waiting for the lights to change now, Reaching for a cloud to come down, And cover me, Can't shut you out Can't get you out Can't take you down Can't watch you drown, Waiting for the world to change, Dissolution takes a bit off, And swallows me, Looking for a way to get out, Wishing that the rush would come down, And smother me, Can't shut you out Can't get you out Can't take you down Can't watch you drown, If you can learn to be yourself, Then that's okay, If you can find a reason now, Don't drift away, Walking down streets to nowhere, Stepping on feet with no cares, Losing myself, Can't shut you out Can't get you out Can't take you down Can't watch you drown, Can't shut you out Can't get you out Can't take you down Can't watch you drown.

Sometimes ROCK tastes sweet

Now your someone, says you’re no one
Are you with me? Are you with me?

and that's the pains of being pure at heart.

POSTCARD by Liechtenstein.

雨天裡的晴天最愉快

她們是Liechtenstein，indie-pop band。

For Sleepyheads Only.

Those who came before me Lived through their vocations From the past until completion They'll turn away no more And I still find it so hard To say what I need to say But I'm quite sure that you'll tell me Just how I should feel today I see a ship in the harbor I can and shall obey But if it wasn't for your misfortune I'd be a heavenly person today...

Blue Monday, FLUNK

當天又藍便應該叫好

我尚完好，當天又藍便知道，舊傷口難會更好，笑著換去紗布。

多少次，每當我失落傷心的時候都會想起他，曾幾何時更一度懷疑世上毫無保留完全明白完全關顧我的也只有他，直至他在我矇矓的記憶中離去，我也不自覺決定把一切都收起，獨力調解自己慢慢長大過來不容易，最後連說話原來也可是極難之事。這幾天，我竟然在想，或許我所認為的一切都虛構，驚覺他可能只是我一直幻想用以慰藉自身的客體。我無法尋找證據，無法求證，抑或這已是答案，他來是要教我，「心跳繼續才是瑰寶」。

我遺下了一直撐住自己的那個「我」，好了，我會find my way out的。

My chicken leg fell on the floor and i cried.

Two birds encounter a plane,

but they never know the plane is made to look like them.


給詼諧王

我要自己 給你寫一首詩
寫一首逗你開心的詩
但 看著灰灰的天 心裡便提不起勁
我不想寫灰詩
我不要你讀一首灰的詩
我不要你變得情緒低落
但你知道嗎 要逗你高興著實不易
你這麼一個多愁善感的小孩
不是哭著鬧情緒 便是說著冷冷的幾言幾語
惹得旁人只有憤怒的份兒
但我還是會逗你的
薯片汽水音樂電影綠草藍天情話細語輕觸小碰
好嗎？

P.S. 小孩，你今天心情還好嗎？
—阿雪

Why am I really here?

You know I didn't mean what I just said
But my god woke up on the wrong side of his bed

And it just don't matter now

Cause little by little we gave you everything you ever dreamed of

Little by little the wheels of your life they're slowly fallin off

Little by little you have to give it all in all your life

And all the time I just ask myself why

Are you really here?

無論任何事情，我應該記著只要Little by Little就好。